


The Day Of

by CosmicTurnabout



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Introspection, Pining, Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward Spoilers, Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma Spoilers, sigma/diana in the loosest of senses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24410917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicTurnabout/pseuds/CosmicTurnabout
Summary: On the day he is to jump back into his younger body, Dr. Sigma Klim reflects on his deepest motivation.This technically takes place during VLR's timeline, but there will be (kinda sorta?) ZTD spoilers.
Relationships: Diana/Sigma Klim
Kudos: 12





	The Day Of

**Author's Note:**

> Re-uploading some formerly purged fics. This was one of them.

Phi looked so peaceful in his arms. Like a child recently lulled to sleep, Sigma thought. She'd been sleeping for decades, and soon she would wake. He would too, but not in this time. Another time -- another place. Finally, he had someplace _else_ to be.

He walked out of the room where the others had been held in cold sleep, the mechanical door sliding upwards automatically. He'd already removed Alice and Clover from their pods, and had carried them to their respective AB Rooms moments before. Junpei and Quark, as they had volunteered for the project, had only needed to be injected with Soporil once they had arrived at the facility by the rocket arranged by Crash Keys. Luna was dutifully helping Akane in the warehouse, and Kyle would be where he needed to be, depending on how the timelines shook out. That left only Phi.

Sigma looked down at her sleeping face, surprised at how hard his heart was beating. So many times he'd talked with Akane about saving the world, about bringing an end to the vicious cycle of failures suffered by Crash Keys. But somewhere, he knew there was a deeper reason for his work. A fiercely personal, burning passion that made him put one foot in front of the other despite the loneliness and despair that threatened to crush him every day.

\-- _tumbling hair the color of autumn, a bright laugh to rival the stars outside, a small hand on his, soft and reassuring, the bird swinging lazily at her neck -- "no, Sigma, here, this is how you solve that equation"_ \--

He stumbled, Phi still clutched protectively in his arms. It was difficult to even think the woman's name, much less say it aloud. He knew that was absurd, but the closer he had gotten to this day, the more he almost wanted to repress those memories from so long ago. The happiest memories he'd had were contained in a small, quiet room, falling in love to the tune of scientific texts and the bluebird's melody. Recovering from an unknown injury while a beautiful woman -- who somehow already knew him -- nursed him back to health.

His ability -- it could give so much, but it had already taken everything away. He would not be enticed to the threshold with the ecstasy of seeing her again, only to be swallowed up by the unforgiving whims of the morphogenetic field. Would he?

He had entered the warehouse now, the arena where his life's work would unfold. Luna was standing in front of the AB Room meant for him, hands clasped in front of her. It was almost time.

He walked past the other rooms towards her, and as he approached, he began to see someone else where she stood. At least -- he tried. It hurt somewhat to think that Luna's face was how he imagined _her_ in his mind's eye now. The robot had been made in her image, but it had been nearly forty years since Sigma had seen the living, breathing original, and time had a habit of corroding even the most fiercely guarded memories. Had her hair been a lighter or darker shade than Luna's? Did her nose curve the same way? Those details seemed important now, even though he knew they were superficial. The reminiscence made him feel guilty, and when he finally reached Luna, he offered a hand to her; Phi was easily supported with his other prosthetic arm. She looked confused by the gesture, but after a beat she reached out as well, taking his hand in both of hers.

He couldn't think of anything that would inspire her, so he just said, "It will be alright, Luna. I'll return, one way or another." She was used to him being taciturn.

She nodded at that, releasing his hand and giving the sleeping Phi a wistful glance. "I know. I hope everything goes well, doctor. Be strong." Her voice was tinged with something -- sadness? Regret? Sigma couldn't tell. She clasped the necklace to her chest, perhaps unwittingly. The movement tugged at his heart, and he walked through the door and into his AB Room more quickly than he had intended. After all, they had already gone over the final details of the project, and he had made a point to stress how important she would be to its success. It would be fine. Still, the daggers of guilt twisted harder as he heard her walk away, slow footsteps carrying her deeper into the warehouse. He could never give Luna what she wanted. _Neither of us can have what we want._

Was there no room in the cold apathy of morphogenetic space for Sigma to have his one selfish desire, especially after having sacrificed his life to the cause? Did Akane herself not dream of the day she could be with Junpei, somewhere out there in that twisting, serendipitous plane? They had spoken of it sometimes. She was a far more powerful esper than he, but even she could not forcibly move herself to other timelines. At least that was what she told him, speaking in hushed tones over dinner as she twisted the ring on her left hand. She always seemed to have more of an idea for where she'd end up when she jumped, though, as well as more snatches of insight from other timelines. Always a bit of mystery to her.

And Kyle...Kyle troubled him. He knew the boy wondered why he and Akane had not gotten married, or had not at least come together as a couple in their loneliness. He had wanted a mother so badly, but it had never been like that between Akane and Sigma. Kyle could not see the invisible bonds that held both of them to others - one absent in the present, one long dead in the past. Those bonds were so unbelievably strong. He would not understand why Akane, even after happily chatting with them at dinner, went to her quarters and gazed wistfully at her ring before finally falling into fitful sleep -- he had seen it himself in passing. Similarly, how could Sigma tell him about the woman who had been his primary motivation without breaking what remained of the boy's heart? How could he tell Kyle that she was the only thing keeping him going, the only thing he loved in this desolate world? Well, that was not strictly true; he loved both Kyle and Luna in his way, but what had truly moved him to continue this life-draining project was the prospect of seeing her again.

Kyle thought of him as cold, he knew. It was true. He deserved the boy's scorn. He was a bitter, selfish man for wanting what he wanted, for not being satisfied by the affection and devotion of both Kyle and Luna, but this was the hand that he had been dealt. It was a hand they had all been dealt. He had had more than enough time to grow bitter over the role that fate had savagely forced him into.

The pain of being connected to the field - of understanding how it worked - was knowing that somewhere out there was a life worth living, and not being able to find it. _She_ was still out there. She could be right next to him in morphogenetic space, but remain forever unreachable until fate saw fit to swap his consciousness. Somewhere, she waited for him. What was she doing? Was she awake or asleep? Was he with her there? Somewhere? Anywhere?

"There must be a timeline where we're together, then," came her soft voice from the past, wracked with coughs. "What a wonderful ability it is. Really, Sigma. That means we still have a chance, somehow." His love had trusted his words. She had thought of the endless time loop as almost a _good_ thing. He smiled at that. _Soon_.

He moved to the center of the AB Room. Gingerly he set Phi down on the floor, as if handling something made of porcelain. Then he sat down beside her, crossing his legs and leaning back up against the cold wall for support. It felt silly, sitting and waiting for fate to happen like this, but...well, the clocks did not lie. It was January 25, 2074, moments before his younger self would invade his body, if Akane's calculations were correct. The woman herself strode by the AB Room, turning to look inside as she did.

"Is everything in place?" he asked, his voice echoing slightly. She stopped to regard him.

"It should be," she said. "Kyle is in the pod in the garden. Luna is performing some last-minute checks, and will enter her AB Room after the door to yours closes. And I will remain out here, as Dio should be arriving shortly. Then..." She paused. "We will see what we will see." She always sounded so self-assured, with wisdom beyond time, like she had everything planned out in advance.

Sigma nodded. He was glad for it. He was tired of being in charge, tired of paving the way for the future. But as omniscient as she seemed, Akane did not know everything that would happen at the Mars mission test site. This time, it would be nice to let fate take the reigns. For both of them.

"I'll be seeing you, Akane. Let's hope that what we're expecting is actually what awaits us."

She smiled in return, but her eyes looked sad. She did not say anything more, but he knew she was thinking the same thing he was -- she might very well die within the next hour. Sigma had told her as much -- he had seen them all die so many times in this AB Game, in so many horrific ways. Such a cruel thing, yet Akane had steeled herself for it. It _had_ to be this way. But really, what was death to her? What was death to people like them? He shook his head, trying to rattle the disturbing thought. If he thought that way, he'd lose himself even more than he already had. But if he really cared about human life, he thought, he would have turned his back on fate, would have never undertaken this horrid project.

But would the cosmos have let him do that? Akane wouldn't have. His protests to that effect, scant as they were, had been one of the few things that could get her to raise her voice -- turn away from this, and not only would all of mankind die off, but reality itself could collapse. It was so monstrously unfair.

Sigma knew something else that he would not share aloud. They weren't just thinking about the project in front of them, necessarily. They were both waiting for someone in the past, though the Akane he was about to meet was not the woman who had spent decades with him on the moon. It must be unimaginably painful to know that the man she loved was unconscious not more than a few dozen feet from where she stood, with their future uncertain. She was good at concealing her own pain, even when he knew she must be feeling the pangs as badly as he was.

She walked out of his line of sight. Who knew when she would see Junpei again? This timeline? Another? He, on the other hand...

He laid down beside Phi and closed his eyes as the door to the AB Room slid shut. If fate was going to take him again, he would allow himself one last indulgence before slipping away.

 _Diana, Diana, Diana_.


End file.
